Elders' Quorum President Excommunicated after Preparing Lesson

Pleasantville, UT — The Elders’ Quorum President of the Pleasantville 3rd Ward was excommunicated last Sunday after preparing a lesson that was deemed “too accurate” by church authorities.

Brother Sandford, who has served as the Elders’ Quorum President for the past two years, was reportedly working on a lesson about the history of the church when he stumbled upon some lesser-known facts. “I just wanted to give a comprehensive overview,” said Brother Sandford. “I had no idea that including actual historical events would cause such a stir.”

The lesson, which included references to controversial topics such as the Mountain Meadows Massacre and the church’s past policies on race, was met with immediate backlash. “We strive to present a faith-promoting narrative,” said Sandford’s Bishop. “Brother Sandford’s lesson was anything but.”

Members of the quorum were divided on the issue. “I thought it was refreshing to hear some real history for once,” said one anonymous member. “But I guess the truth isn’t always faith-promoting.”

Brother Sandford has since been released from his calling and is reportedly considering recovering by starting a career in stand-up comedy. “If you can’t laugh about it, you’ll cry,” he said. “And I’ve done enough of that already.”

The Pleasantville 3rd Ward is now searching for a new Elders’ Quorum President who can stick to the approved lesson manuals. In the meantime, Brother Sandford’s lesson has been classified as “restricted material” and will not be available for future reference.

Stay tuned for more updates on this developing story.